T.H.O.U.G.H.T

Assalamualaikum..

Lamanya dah tak menulis dekat blog..Lately mungkin banyak benda yang lebih baik dipendamkan..Sometimes human needs a space for herself or himself..or maybe it is better to keep it as confidential instead of sharing with other people. Alhamdulillah, just came back from one of the Asian country. Everything was fine accept of one part. Travelling is the best solution to keep your mind peaceful. And i did make a right decision. At least I can forget for a while of all the things in IPBA and anything that is still keep burdening my mind. Life is hard right? :)

When I was on a journey, I've read a book written by one of the indonesion's author entitled Musafir cinta. There are lots of things that you can learn from this book. Its not only how we prepare ourselves to love someone but the most important thing is to love your God. Mencintai Tuhan bukanlah sesuatu yang asing untuk manusia. Walaupun kadang-kadang kita terkandas dalam melaksanakan suruhannya, kita tetap disayangi. Nikmat yang diberikan tidak terhingga dan mustahil untuk kita mengatasi pemebrian nikmatnya.Alhamdulillah atas nikmat-nikmat tersebut. Ketika dalam perjalanan, banyak benda yang saya belajar. Selain itu, doa seorang musafir insyaAllah mendapat perhatian dari-Nya. Semoga hari-hari yang akan datang mmapu memberi sirna dalam kehidupan saya. Ada benda yang susah untuk dimengertikan bila adanya hati. Untuk membuang sesuatu yang sudah sebati dalam diri, mampu membuat kita susah untuk bernafas. Hanya ketenangan dan kekuatan yang dicari.

Berbalik kepada novel tersebut, saya tertarik hati dengan ayat penulis tersebut dalam salah satu watak. Mencintai seseorang tidak salah. Teruslah mencintai walaupun tiada balasan yang kita terima. For me, we have our own reasons to love someone. Thank to God, if we can get back what we want. However, there is some people who only have the hope. Just trust yourself and the God. It is not wrong to love someone but just prepare yourself for any circumstances in future.

Feel sleepy and tired now. Need to stop. Pray for the best for me..:)..wasalam..

اللَّهُمَّ لا سَهْلَ إلَّا مَا جَعَلْتَهُ سَهْلاً وَ إنْتَ تَحْعَلُ الْحزْنَ إذَا شِئْتَ سَهْ

Allahumma la sahla illa ma ja'altu sahla, wa 'anta taj-alul hazna idha shi'ta sahla
O Allah! There is nothing easy except what You make easy, and You make the difficult easy if it be Your Will
[Ibn Hibban]
Allahumma la sahla illa ma ja'altu sahla, wa 'anta taj-alul hazna idha shi'ta sahla
O Allah! There is nothing easy except what You make easy, and You make the difficult easy if it be Your Will
[Ibn Hibban]

T.H.A.N.K.Y.O.U.

Thank you for being with me along the way,
Thank you for being my inspiration,
Thank you for understanding my flaws,
Thank you for holding my hands throughout the year,
Thank you for everything that you have done to me..

Thank you to God for Your blessings,
Thank you to my beloved family,
Last but not least,
Thank you to you,
Always and always to be remembered..
azu201

LASKAR.PELANGI.

Laskar Pelangi merupakan sebuah filem yang di terbitkan di Indonesia. Filem ni diperkenalkan oleh someone dekat UK. Sebuah filem yag bagus..berorientasikan sistem pendidikan yang tidak mengejar duniawi semata-mata tetapi diseimbangkan dgn keperluan ukhrawi yg dituntut di dalam Islam.

As a teacher to be, the film was so touching to me. Roles of teachers are not only to educate and teach the children but also to build the whole nations. As such future generations are moulded from these new millennium teachers including my friends and me. InsyaAllah...After having some observations in some of the schools in UK and Malaysia, I can see some of the differences. For instance, the situations are different in terms of facilities and resources. Nonetheless, this film has changed my perception in some ways. The spirit of being a noble teacher is vital. To provide education to children needs a lot of sacrifices from a teacher. Money is not everything. However, the way the teacher enthuse the students to succeed is really a matter.

Kesusahan bukanlah pemusnah sebuah kehidupan tetapi penjana kepada kehidupan yang baru. Bermula dengan semangat dan berakhir dengan kejayaan yang diiringi dengan iltizam yang tinggi. Andai mampu menongkah arus dan sanggup menyelam di lautan dalam, InsyaAllah, setiap kesusahan ada kemudahannya..Itu yang dijanjikan oleh Allah. Walaupun hidup dilingkungi kemiskinan, tak semstinya seseorang tidak mampu berjaya. Something to ponder...Apa yang bermain di fikiran adalah semangat seorang guru untuk berjuang. Bukan senang untuk menjadi seorang muaddib dan mualim. Bukan senang untuk menjadi seorang pendidik dan role model. it is such a prominent role in the society.Mampukah diri ini menjadi seperti guru di dalam filem tersebut? Mampukah diri ini mengatasi anasir- anasir yang mampu menjatuhkan martabat keguruan? Mampukah diri ini mengajar anak-anak untuk bertatih dan pada masa yang sama dirinya terpaksa merangkak untuk mengejar impian?

What I am trying to say is can I be a noble teacher one day? Being a teacher is something that I always want to be. Though it is a tough job, challenging profession, I hope I can give the best to my students. Ya Allah lead me to be what I am supposed to be. Give me the strengths to face the tomorrow and bless me with your Hidayah and Taufiq..Ameen.

azu201

SOMETHING.TO.PONDER.

Kirimkan surat pengharapanmu di tengah keheningan malam,
Jadikan air matamu sebagai dakwatnya;
Kedua pipimu sebagai kertasnya;
Kepasrahan sebagai setemnya;
dan Arasy Ilahi sebagai alamat(tujuannya).
Setelah itu tunggulah jawapannya...

Dr Aidh Abdullah Al-Qarni...

I......H.A.T.E.....

I hate the way I think about you,
I feel like I wanna go from here,
Move to the other part of life,
Placed in a serenity and peaceful world.

I hate the way you avoiding me,
Keep blaming on my actions,
Keep searching on my weaknesses,
Till I cannot breathe anymore.

I hate the way you corrected me,
As if you never make mistakes,
Perfect in all your ways,
Without any flaw and fault.

I hate the way I am now,
Cocooned in a mysterious world,
Confused in all the things I am doing,
Hurt with the imperfection inside me.

I hate the way when I am blurred,
Stuck in a terrible condition,
Cannot move neither progress,
To hold on my own dreams and desire.
azu201

A.TOUGH.WEEK.

A very tough week for me.. a lot of things keep revolving in my head..betul ke revolving ni? cam salah jer..hihi

Problems which should not turn out to be problems pun boleh appear. Bila nak jadi kuat ni? Huhu..I had lots of assignments which need to be sent in. Alhamdulillah smuanya dah hantar..peritnya tuhan je yang tahu macam mana nak siapkan semua. Asyik tido lewat je..paling lewat tido pukul lima..Ada orang mesej tanya mesti dah tido nieh..tp it turned out to be tak tido lagi..Bangun tu dah pening2..tak penah-penah dalam sejarah hidup banyak benda jadi at the same time..menyeronokkan, menyakitkan...frustration, worried, feel like wanna be in other part of this world..

After dah sent in semua assignment,kena pegi sekolah mengajar literature..OMG!!dahla serabut tak abis lagi..takpe2..hidup mesti diteruskan..yeke wani?dalam hati tuhan je yang tahu..

Feel nice when students call me teacher..bukan rasa bangga..tapi seronok sebab rasa ada di dunia yang lain..haha..sekurang2nya boleh lupakan kejap benda2 yang tak penting...seronok dengan budak2..maybe cos i like kids..:)...tapi masyaAllah susahnya nak control..haha...like usual..lacking in throwing out my own voice...suara mcm dah nak pecah bila abis kelas..buat kena gelak dengan dayme je..haha...

Anyway..nice experience..students pun respect..tapi biasala..ada yang nak cari gaduh, mengusik..hmm..bukan senang nak jadi cikgu..selamatla anak orang...tp apa2 pun thats what we called experience..Alhamdulillah everything was under control..kalau sorang2 parah jugak ni..camne nak praktikum nieh?huhu..

Biasala macam2 perasaan datang bila dah tension n busy nieh..banyak benda yang jadi...kadang2 rsa mcm dh tak kuat..syukur ada orang yang still care n sudi dengar bila stress..mungkin ada hikmahnya...bukan semua orang boleh sacrifice bila nak dapat sesuatu..sesetengah orang senang2 je lepas tangan..itula kehidupan..dont hope too much..dont give too much expectation on something or someone..nanti diri sndiri yang merana..

Thanks to all of you who are still standing beside me..Thanks for your courage and supports..Love..
azu201

APA.KATA.HATI

Apa kata hati,
Bila bersendiri,
Dan terus sepi,
Terasa ingin berlari,
Mencari-cari,
Warna pelangi,
Walau dalam mimpi,
Ku hargai,
Biar hanya sekali,
Kan ku syukuri.

Apa kata hati,
Bilakan ku pergi,
Menghadap Ilahi,
Terasa kerdilnya diri,
Ku akui,
Dia sentiasa di sisi,
Walau ku lari,
Usia makin melewati,
Batas-batas hari,
Mencari-cari,
Ketenangan abadi.

Apa kata hati,
Bila disakiti,
Bagai diracuni,
Perit tak terperi,
Terguris sendiri,
Akan ku tempuhi,
Sekali lagi,
Akan ku gagahi,
Moga diri diredhai.

Apa kata hati,
Ia bukan mimpi,
Ku fahami,
Takdir Ilahi,
Datang dan pergi,
Silih berganti,
Bangunlah kembali,
Tempuhi realiti,
Moga satu hari,
Kasihkan bersemi,
Mekar mewangi,
Di taman kasturi.
azu201

IN.JUST.ONE.NIGHT.

In just one night,
People may be different,
Things might not be the same like usual,
Yet heart stays still without changes.

In just one night,
I lost my precious thought,
Kept in my mind for the whole day long
Lost to a person that I dote on.

In just one night,
Hope melts into pieces,
Strengths don't have any say to be strong,
Yet prayers doesn't get faded after all.

In just one night,
I still cannot find you in me,
I am searching for the one i know,
Yet you go away without any track

In just one night,
I can be another person to you,
Though it hurts me a lot,
Yet God is still with me.

In just one night,
I should say thank to you,
For bringing me to my own world,
Yet you are such a cruel man to me.

In just one night,
Disillusionment appears in the dark,
To get me awake from my dreams,
To come back to a reality.

In just one night,
I found myself still alive,
Contented with the things around me,
Yet trying hard to stand alone.
azu201

.......................

Fighting has been enjoined upon you while it is hateful to you. But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah knows, while you know not. [2:216]

Assalamualaikum.. I have put this verse from Al-Quran in my blog. Frankly speaking, it is not easy to apply what is stated there in our life. I am not sure about you but for me, it is one of the difficult things. We cannot deny anything that have been stated in Al-Quran as it is the Allah's words. We have to accept it without any doubt.

In certain condition, we might think it is not easy to accept especially when we are facing any obstacles or difficulties in life. Sometimes, we keep asking why all these things happen to us. We are not strong to face them especially when we have a lot of things to do at the same time. Believe me, it is so painful. Tears keep coming down from our eyes. At a certain point, we do no want it to happen anymore. We felt really tired after undergoing a lot of thinking and reflecting. What can be done after all of these happen to us? What can be done to stop the tears? How to tell others that we are in pain? It is such complicated things to be faced.

We always hope for a new day to come. When is it going to appear? Why is it still hiding under all of these sadness? Sometimes, we need more time to accept what has happened. We do not have any idea on what is going on. What should we do to face all the things? It is not easy to satisfy every person in our lives. For me, I do have my own dreams and desires to be fulfilled. However, it is not as simple as that to turn them into reality. Everything is in God's hand.

I just hope there will be no more tears for tomorrow though it might be impossible. Nonetheless, nothing is impossible in this world. Give me some courage and strengths to go through all these. I am not a powerful person with a strong heart..I do not know how long it will take to heal this pain. God...be with me..hold my heart...show me the right path...Amin Ya Rabbal A'lamin...

S.E.P.I

Bila hati berbicara,
Tiada alunan kedamaian.
Hanya sepi tanpa kata,
Sakit bagai direntap,
Ditusuk sang sembilu,
Hidupkan kembali hati ini,
Kembalikan jiwaku yang mati,
Ku tak mampu menangkis,
Menepis arus realiti,
Dalam tangisan,
Dalam kepasrahan,
Dalam kesenduan..

Bangun dan terus melangkah,
Hanya igauan dalam mimpi,
Sekadar melata di bibir,
Dihembus angin lalu,
Setiap saat, setiap detik,
Disirami racun berbisa,
Hingga satu masa,
Ku tak mampu mendongak,
Mengejar impian mendatang,
Hanya debaran dalam sendu,
Hanya kepahitan menjengah di kalbu.

Fahamilah hati ini,
Selamilah jiwa ini,
Hidup ini bagaikan roda,
Moga ku tak terus mengalah,
Getaran penuh kepahitan,
Mengenang nasib mengubat luka,
Tiada siapa yang mengerti,
Untukku berpaut kembali,
Ku pasrah, Ku akur,
Semua terjadi di atas ketentuan,
Setiap yang datang pasti kan pergi,
Setiap yang pergi, pasti kan kembali,
Itulah ketentuan takdir,
Penentu Ya Ilahi..

Hingga satu masa,
Hilangnya kekuatan dalam diri,
Perginya kesabaran dalam hati,
Biar terus tersungkur tersimpul mati,
Biarlah ini sekadar fantasi,
Igauan di siang hari,
Ya Allah,
Kepadamu aku mengadu,
Meratap kasih,
Tiada yang memahami hati ini,
Walau pernah bersulam kasih,
Hanya diri ini,
Bertahan terus sendiri,
Bimbingi aku,
Temani daku,
Mengorak langkah,
Mengejar kebahagiaan,
Dikala kesuraman,
Menghimpit derita..
azu201

K.E.M.B.A.L.I.K.A.N.

Muncullah sang pelangi,
Di kala awan mendung berlalu,
Mana mungkin ku mampu,
Menghalang takdir Mu,
Biar pedih tak terperi,
Aku akur dengan diri,
Mana hilangnya kewarasan,
Mana perginya kekuatan,
Ku tak mampu berdiri,
Menongkah gelombang lautan,
Untukku menuju daratan...

Ku harapkan petunjukMu,
Kembalikan ketenangan,
Pulangkan kebahagiaan,
Tika kala ini,
Diri meratap sayu,
Mengenang ketentuan,
Dalam keterpaksaan,
Ku tak mampu melangkah,
Rebah tak bermaya,
Hanya Dikau tempat ku mengadu,
Meratap,
Memohon,
Kaulah cahaya,
Dalam kegelapan ini...

Pergilah sepi,
Tinggalkan ku sendiri,
Pulangkan ketabahan,
Untukku teruskan hidup,
Moga masa depan,
Kan lebih sempurna,
Aku insan kerdil,
Tanpa kata,
Aku insan biasa,
Hanya memuja,
Kebesaran Tuhan-Nya,
Ya Allah,
Titipkan ku semangat,
Hulurkan ku Nur-Mu,
HidayahMu,

PetunjukMu,

Amin Ya Rabbal A'lamin...
azu201

H.U,R.T.

If i can be with you,
I'm the luckiest person to be contented,
Given with an understanding person,
Who always be at my side,
Though life hurts,
Full of tragedy,
Full of mystery...

Sometimes,
Life is so unfair,
Just to fulfill,
One's desire,
It's hurt,
It's painful,
No help to ask,
Staying alone in misery...

Indeed,
Everything is fated,
God knows best,
My heart,
Just stay strong,
Be as tough as you can,
This is the only chance,
To survive as a human.
azu_201